I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just forgot I was standing up.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
