i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
