Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
