He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
