We should be called the Road Head Warriors
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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