he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
