my mouth tastes like poor choices
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
