so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
