last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
