Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
