After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
