Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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