i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Who died my cat blue again?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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