yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
