I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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