Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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