I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
