party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
