id be glad to
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
