I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
