well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
