he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
