I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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