i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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