How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
NoShamevember. You game?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
