wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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