Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
