Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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