So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
