So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
