dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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