Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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