bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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