That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
