Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
