Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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