Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish I only lived at night.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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