how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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