what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
being pregnant is like rehab
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
