that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
