I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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