I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
