can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
