I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
