You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
why is half of my head shaved?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
