I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
