batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
