you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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