When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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