if you like me you must not know who I am
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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