yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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