my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Still dying that you shit outside
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
FUCK WHALES
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