I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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