hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
