there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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