Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I will die if light touches me.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
