well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
