She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My life is pants optional.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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