Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
