But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
