He kissed a someone with a penis
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
