seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
