Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
