Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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