Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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