It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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